No Growth in Comfort.
Being uncomfortable can feel like you’re on lockdown! What do you do to unlock and free yourself?
Let us jump right into this blog by asserting the title one more time.
THERE IS NO GROWTH IN COMFORT.
Do not get me wrong, it is important to be happy with the position of life that you are in. However, contentment and comfort are easily two different mindsets. Often times we speak about ‘living the good life’ or retiring at a young age for blah blah blah. The truth is, comfort is often times our downfall. It is much like a plateau, and usually where we lose our internal spark to achieve bigger and better goals that we know we can reach.
It is in comfort where we stop, be it consciously or subconsciously, working towards our personal development. It is in comfort that we gain that extra weight that you have been struggling to get rid of for the past year. In comfort where we become stagnant in our jobs, and unhappy in relationships. In comfort where we remain, frankly average. Being comfortable then produces that “going through the motions” feeling that left unchecked, lingers for weeks to even years.
Being content on the other hand, in MY mind at least signals that I am happy where I am. I am aware that I can, and will achieve more, reaching the next summit in life. Being content is knowing even if the situation is not ideal, there is more and better to come. This brings me to opening up to my readers about my first realization of the difference between being content, and comfortable.
It was my senior year of college, and I was dating a young woman who attended my university. She was Attractive, bubbly, came from a good family, and had decent enough goals. At the time I had been working forty (40 hours) a week, attending school full time, averaging 15 hours a week at an internship, and gaining experience in Property Management with my landlady.
There were many differences that arose over the duration of our relationship that I ignored, due to my comfort level. In post-analysis, the differences, and points of views that we held were fundamentally incompatible. I remember this young woman being the first of all women I had dated in which I was completely vulnerable. I remember being extremely open and working my hardest to express myself, and the things that I had felt deep inside. She had the notion that because I did not explain in a manner in which she wanted to receive information, I was not communicating effectively.
This made it difficult to feel like I was understood, or even truly wanted by this young woman. At the time I was actively working to improve my life (In my mind), while she would shout about me not graduating, it affecting our future kids, and lives together. When we are involved in relationships, be it familial, romantic, or platonic, we can often become too comfortable.
Often times we are engulfed in the energy, dreams, expectations, and goals other people hold for us. Falling into this unrealistic cycle, we hinder our own growth and abilities for more. Under the guise of love or other factors, we end up consumed by the comfort vacuum, doomed to suck. Let us fast forward through the avoiding going to her apartment that night, the uncomfortable silence, and me grabbing my stuff and walking out, to save time in the story. Post relationship, immediately I felt as though I had relieved much stress, and broken out of a vicious comfort cycle that had arisen in my life.
I had discovered contentment again, and was determined to keep that peace… So I thought, but that is another story for another day so lets close this post out. I was able to continue gaining experience in my respective fields, and graduate after all. I accept all responsibility for the way the relationship began and ended, and am thankful for the lessons learned. The biggest lesson I learned though, was there is NO GROWTH IN COMFORT.
If you enjoyed this post, like, share, and subscribe to stay up to date on my content!
Follow me on instagram @goldendoesit and twitter @goldendoesit
